I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
