is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
