I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
