Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
