Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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