no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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