You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
