okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
