saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
