Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Randomize
