He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
