Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
