maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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