FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
