2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
