3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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