Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
