He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
