In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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