people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
