I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Enjoy the penises
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
