He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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