I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
