I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
