WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
