Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
