i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
