I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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