Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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