I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
