...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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