but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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