Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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