I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
