haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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