I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
