If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
