dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
