My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
