but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
