dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We are two peas in an std pod
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
