In the future we'll all be gay
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
