I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
