He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
