HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
