I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
