Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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