But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
