It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
