So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
