So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
