I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
