I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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