Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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